


Oh My Glory!

by Bang Bang Beef Keef (kelamorrison)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Blow Jobs, But it's a glory hole so that's how it works, Gay Keith (Voltron), Glory Hole, Klance smut, Lance is hung, Lance thinks Keith is a girl, M/M, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, PWP, Public Blow Jobs, Slutty Keith, it goes from porny to funny at the end and that's just how i wrote it, klance, slutty lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-25 20:45:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18171251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelamorrison/pseuds/Bang%20Bang%20Beef%20Keef
Summary: Lance is just drunk and horny enough to consider sticking his dick in a bathroom stall Glory Hole and get a BJ from a stranger. A little peek and he spots the prettiest set of eyes he's ever seen. Convinced there's a Blowjob Fairy on the other side of the wall, he goes for it and receives the best blowjob of his life... But there's a twist ending!Excerpt:Lance felt like an idiot pressed against the stall wall with his disembodied dick hanging out on the other end.But then... fingers... A light touch and his dick was being cupped by a small hand.Fuck. This was happening.A few strokes, so light and tentative. The ginger touch made Lance ache for more than that. He swallowed hard, trying to picture this raven beauty on her knees, sizing him up. Maybe licking her lips in preparation for the feast. Fuck this made Lance feel so hot.





	Oh My Glory!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't try this.

Lance was fucking wasted. Wasted and alone. Pidge and Hunk has left the bar an hour ago. “Tired” pffft. Fucking lame. Yeah Lance was tired. Tired of going home alone.

He had a reputation to protect. A fuckboy label to defend. But lately things hadn’t been going his way. He hadn’t managed to pick up last weekend. Okay whatever for the last three weekends. It did not help that ass wipe James was at the same club tonight. And it certainly didn’t help that the fucker kept appearing whenever lance had a honey isolated from her friends. He’d slide up beside him and introduce himself as Lance’s friend. Friend? Fuck. That. Guy. Fuck that cock-blocking dick wad.

The club was plenty big enough for both of them to work it, but James didn’t see it that way. Had to be the alpha. Didn’t help that dude was money. Like actual money. Like his dad invented Bitcoin or something like that. And he could afford to buy shots of Patron for whoever Lance was chatting up while Lance was stuck sipping on bar rail and hoping this honey didn’t notice he wore a Timex while James flashed his Rolex because of course his sleeves were rolled up like a douchebag.

Lance was so frustrated he was drinking jagger bombs hoping to get revved up enough to close, but instead he was just drunk, angry, horny, and really had to piss. 

“Whoever fucking heard of a line at the men’s?!” yelled lance to no one in particular. All he got was some disinterested looks from the guys lined up in front of him. This was a pressing situation. More pressing than his need to get laid. He needed to piss and get back out there before last call if he ever hoped to score tonight.

“What is going on?” he muttered, more quietly, trying to peak around those in front of him to see into the actual bathroom. He had no patience for this. He wasn’t used to not being able to pee the moment he felt the urge.

That’s when he spotted it. Salvation!! The bathroom had two stalls in the corner, both with the doors ajar. Here these chumps were lining up for the urinals and leaving perfectly good piss pots open all because stalls were normally for poopers and pukers.

“Suckers!” laughed Lance as he strolled his way over to a stall. He very drunkenly decided to give those in line a farewell bow before shutting the stall door and locking it.

Sweet relief. Lance swore he pissed for a minute straight. He’d never felt more like a water balloon in his life, but now his stream was thick and mighty like a waterfall. He felt like a man again. Yes, invigorated he still had time to buy someone a drink and bring his A game.

He was giving it a shake dry and was about to tuck away when his phone went off. He looked and saw it was a Snapchat notification. His vision blurry, he didn’t notice a username and was super excited to see boobs! Boob! Holy shit! Two sets! Who was sending him a gift like this? Fuck. He was half hard already. Were these chicks snapping him because they wanted him to make haste and motorboat them?

The snap timed out and he was left to see who had sent it.

“Fuck!” Lance swore as he saw James’s username. Fucking ass was showing off.

He didn’t even have time to leave the bar! Where the hell was he? The answer came in a second snap. This one was a selfie of James giving Lance the finger. Lance recognized the wall behind James only because it was the same one behind his phone. Drunk and dumb Lance actually looked around the stall to see if James was there.

No dumbass, he was in a matching stall in the woman’s washroom. Fuck. Lance went to pee in the men’s and James went to motorboat two chicks in the woman’s room. Did they even know he’d taken that first snap? What a fucking scoundrel!

Lance angrily stuffed his phone in his back pocket. As he was looking down he noticed something on the stall wall. Stuff he’d dismissed as graffiti before was now coming into drunken focus. A whole bunch of arrows pointing to a circle… No, an actual hole in the stall’s wall. Writing beside the hole invited him to “go ahead” and try his “luck.”

Lance had heard of glory holes before... Well, truth be told he thought they only existed as plot devices in pornos. But then... those were some hot pornos...

But no! Didn’t these things actually happen at like truck stops? Weren’t they for dudes sucking off other dudes? Lance didn’t care how horny he was, he was not so desperate that he was ready to go gay. Besides, probably no one was on the other side... which kinda made the idea of sticking his dick through more appealing... it was the perfect size...

No! Nope! No! No way! He was not so horned up that a fucking hole in the wall looked appealing.

Lance looked down and noticed something. The stall walls were too low to actually peak under yet there was enough of a gap at the bottom to see a shadow. A bit of movement. Someone was there... and he didn’t hear puking (or smell pooping) so maybe someone was there to... receive?

Like a blowjob fairy…

Now Lance needed to look. He was curious, but he didn’t want some dude sucking his D and tickling it with his moustache.

Lance lowered himself to his knees then suddenly had a scary premonition of a dick suddenly being thrust from the other end, thinking Lance was on his knees because he was DTS (down to suck.) But no, that’s not how these things worked. One side for each purpose. Lance was on the sticking side, not the sucking side.

Okay, quick peek. Likely he’d see a guy shitting and he could nope right out of this situation and call a cab because there was nothing going to kill his libido like that sight.

So look he did and there Lance saw... well someone looking back. It startled him, but then he was caught in the gaze of violet eyes and long dark lashes. Whoa.

Okay... wait... this person didn’t seem to want to be looked at because there was movement. Pulling back... full supple lips... a flash of long dark hair. Holy shit. It was a Blowjob Fairy! And she was a girl. A hot girl. Holy shit.

Lance was shaking. Needed to prop himself against the wall as he stood. Could he actually... do this? Receive an anonymous blowjob through a glory hole in the men’s bathroom? No. That was fucking crazy. 

Fuck this madness. Lance was going to leave and got hit on women he could see. However, then his phone went off and he remembered that ass shat James hooking up with two chicks in women’s bathroom probably thinking he was the shit with a good story to boot…

‘I’ll show him a good story,’ thought lance, giving his dick a stroke. He wasn’t going to send his package along at half-mast. He had standards and he wanted the Blowjob Fairy to see him ready and DTGS (down to get sucked!)

Fuck, he needed this. Needed to get his dick wet one way or another.

Lance was a bit nervous and drunk so it took a few more coaxing strokes, but the thought of those violet eyes widening in delight as they saw his hard cock in full glory got him game ready. He didn’t want to take too long. What if the Blowjob Fairy got impatient and left? So as soon as he was at full attention, Lance eased himself through, happy the hole was at just the right height.

And then... nothing. Lance felt like an idiot pressed against the stall wall with his disembodied dick hanging out on the other end.

But then... fingers... A light touch and his dick was being cupped by a small hand.

Fuck. This was happening.

A few strokes, so light and tentative. The ginger touch made Lance ache for more than that. He swallowed hard, trying to picture this raven beauty on her knees, sizing him up. Maybe licking her lips in preparation for the feast. Fuck this made Lance feel so hot.

He couldn’t see what was happening and so a hot puff of air on his dick made him moan in surprise. Fuck. Just that. Just a stranger’s breath so close to his cock was getting him off. Yeah, he needed this. Badly.

Lance’s breathing seemed to slow and sync with the breath he felt on his cock. He wondered what the Blowjob Fairy was waiting for. He knew his dick looked good. It was probably the most appealing thing about Lance, sexiness wise. Problem was he couldn’t use “I’ve got a large dick” as a pick up line so really it had to be saved for the pleasant surprise when he finally convinced a girl to come home with him.

Hmmm, come to think of it the warm breath actually felt really good. And the way those fingers were treading so lightly as the breath moved down the length of his cock. This was some kind of foreplay, building up the anticipation. It was working too. Lance’s leg was trembling. Everything was so slight yet because there was only this little bit of sensation to focus on, it was insanely intense. Still, he longed for those supple lips he’d spotted before to make contact. He wanted so badly to beg the Blowjob Fairy to suck him off already, but with the loud club music still blaring inside the bathroom, he’d likely have to shout just to be heard and then everyone outside the stalls would know what he was up to…

Just when Lance couldn’t take the tease of air and feather light touches anymore -just when he was seriously considering dropping to his knees and speaking to the Blowjob Fairy through the hole and requesting an actual blowjob (like it was a damn fast food drive-thru window) - he felt it, the press of those puckered lips on the tip of his cock. Fuck, he melted. Only this far in and it was so fucking good already.

Those lips withdrew and Lance panicked for a moment, but then they were back and sucking the head of his cock into the mouth. The lips rested there with a nice seal around just the head as the tongue began massaging the tip.

“Fuck yes,” muttered Lance. He wished he could send James a snap of this, just to show off, but then… what could he really take a pic of? Lance’s crotch pressed to a wall? It was all sensation, nothing visual.

The mouth pulled back, dragging those lips across the tip as they retreated. Lance didn’t know what would come next. Couldn’t see it. Could only feel a small hand holding his cock at a horizontal angle. Then he felt a lick. Warm and wet traveling up the side of the dick. The tongue paused at the top to swirl around the head.

“You fucking tease,” whispered Lance, knowing communication wasn’t possible. That tongue felt so fucking good. He wanted to be encouraging, but what else could he do? There was no way to move, no way to press himself in further. He was caged in, but even more turned on by the idea that he was powerless.

The tongue finished the swirl and another peck was planted by the lips on the head of his cock. Lance felt the grip readjust and wondered what was next then felt the tongue on the opposite side of his cock, dragging it’s way upwards and finishing with that swirling flourish. And so it went. The hand readjusting every time to allow a full lick of the cock on another side. Lance was just getting used to this, was almost reaching some kind of drunken, meditative state by the repetitiveness, when the game changed entirely.

Those lips met the tip of his cock then sunk down over the head and travelled further still, the fingers releasing so his entire cock that was protruding could be drawn into the mouth. That mouth… That dirty, fucking mouth that sucked strange cock in a shitty club bathroom. 

Lance imagined that mouth as a soldier, sucking cock in the line of duty. His dick was canon fodder, ammunition for the war on traditional, face to face sex. Anonymous sex with a mouth like that… Fuck. Lance had to rethink his approach to hook up culture because getting stress free BJ’s with a stranger was fucking where it was at.

Lance was getting a little lost in his own head. Meanwhile, Blowjob Fairy was holding Lance’s cock in that hot little mouth and massaging it with that talented tongue. It felt so good. From what Lance had seen this chick was pretty yet here she was sucking off a guy she’d never seen? She was some kind of saintly level of slutty if those two things could exist in one person without contradicting the other.

The mouth pulled back, dragging those lips across every inch of Lance’s dick (and there were a lot of inches) and popping off the end. Lance let out a little moan. Then nothing. Just hot breath on the tip. He wished there was a way to encourage a continuation. He was fucking aching for it and he knew he was leaking precum. Speaking of which… Lance felt a tongue, no… finger or thumb rub right there at the tip, smoothing the precum collected there, massaging the tip with it. 

Blowjob Fairy, are you actually a demon? Fairies don’t tease like this.

Lance’s legs were trembling as the thumb (he was sure of it now) massaged his tip. He bit his lip and swallowed hard, trying to contain his neediness. In a moment of weakness, he considered pulling his dick back and furiously jerking himself off to just get a release already. Just when he thought that was his best option, the thumb moved and those lips return, diving down over Lance’s length then immediately pulling back, popping off then diving down again.

His heart rate went into over drive as the lips repeated that same motion again and again. Lance imagined that black head of hair down below him, bobbing on his cock and felt a desperate urge to reach down and tug that hair, help push that head to take him deeper into that hot little mouth. But of course this was all in his mind’s eye. He couldn’t see a damn thing that was happening, let alone touch the magical Blowjob Fairy. 

Still, this was a real fucking blowjob now and so intense. Lance felt like he needed to grip something, anything to keep his legs from buckling. His hands scrambled across the bathroom stall’s wall, but of course there was nothing to hold, no purchase. Lance stretched his arms behind his head, letting his fingers tug at his own hair as he leaned his body weight into his hips where they met the wall. He was not enough to feel steady, but fuck he didn’t care about solid ground or standing straight anymore. He just wanted that fucking mouth to keep sucking him off.

“Mmmm baby,” Lance hummed under his breath. “You’re doing so fucking good.” He wished Blowjob Fairy could hear his praise, but maybe she got off on the thankless work. Obviously there was something kinky about blowing strangers. Lance was definitely into the idea of being on the receiving end.

Fuck. He felt his dick hit the back of a throat. The Blowjob Fairy was deep throating him. That was an accomplishment not many could pull off and it felt so fucking good, the tip touching back there over and over until… A choke. Lance felt it. Felt the contraction around his dick. Ugh, he knew it was discomfort for the Blowjob Fairy, but fuck it felt good when it happened. The deep throating immediately resumed. That’s commitment. A few more bobs and the choking happened again. 

Shameful to admit but that got Lance close to cumming. Why was he into choking on his dick? Why was he into any of what was happening? He was pressing his body against a damn filthy bathroom stall wall, but oh, he was a happy customer. Especially because that mouth, so determined that it was kept sucking, pulling back just a bit so the deep throating stopped, but the bobbing resumed.

“You determined little fucker,” Lance moaned. The words were inaudible as he was huffing out little breaths of air. Fuck, he was so close.

It happened again. His dick hit the back of the throat and he felt that gag and he almost came, almost. But fuck, it was rude to cum when someone is choking. He was a gentleman… A gentleman that receives anoynmous BJ’s in a men’s bathroom, but still a gentleman.

The mouth finally relented, pulling back. Lance picturing those lips red and plumped up as the Blowjob Fairy gasped for air, finally succumbing to the need for oxygen after Lance’s big dick had blocked those airways for too long.

A hand cupped his dick, which was a relief because Lance was squirming. He’d been so close, but had held back. Fuck he needed more now.

Like a wish granted, he felt those lips back on the tip of his cock. They were cold now from sucking in air and the sensation made Lance moan again. He was so close to the end. 

The lips moved down again, slick with spit and precum, sliding down all slippery. It was slow and teasing again. The mouth knocked into the fingers holding his cock and pushed them further down his length. The hand and the mouth worked in unison, bobbing and stroking along his dick, increasing in speed and intensity until Lance was letting out short little moans.

Fuck, he was going to cum.

Fuck. It was so rude not to warn a girl first so she has the option to not get a surprise mouth full of cum.

But then… What did she think was going to happen when she started sucking on it?

Fuck it. He couldn’t stop himself if he tried. That hot little mouth was fucking going for it. It wanted Lance’s cum. Wanted to drink it down. 

Fuck, Lance was going to give it to that thirsty fucking mouth.

“Ahhh fuck,” moaned Lance as he came, that mouth relentlessly bobbing on his cock. It was so hard to stay still while cumming, but he just had to hold tight and take it. He settle for pounding his fist against the wall, needing to release some energy somehow.

Lance’s heart was a jackhammer. He was sweating and panting as the waves of pleasure subdued, coming down from one hell of an orgasm. Fuck, the dirtiness of this situation made it so much hotter. Then Lance felt that mouth, that sexy mouth that was still wrapped around his cock swallow.

Fuck.

That slutty, saintly Blowjob Fairy swallowed Lance’s cum.

Fuck that was so hot.

Spent, Lance pressed his palms against the wall and leaned his cheek against the cool plastic laminate. The mouth had not released his dick yet. He felt like it was lapping up the last bit of cum with the tongue. Oof. That Blowjob Fairy was thirsty. Either that or he was damn tasty.

Lance was losing his erection. He wasn’t excited about being seen without it (he was a grower, not a show-er) so he was a mixture of relieved and bummed when that mouth and hand released him. That had been so fucking good. He kinda wished he could do it again. Reluctantly he carefully retracted his dick from the Glory Hole (which had definitely lived up to its name.)

Reality set in as Lance tucked away his dick. Like… what the fuck did he just do?

Okay, too drunk to process. Time to make a clean getaway. At least he had a great story to tell that punk ass motherfucker James.

Lance did a quick sweep with his eyes to make sure everything was in place before stepping out of the stall. Then suddenly he was back in real world with the line for the urinals still there, still moving slowly. He coulda walked out and never looked back, but of course he did look back. Looked right at the other door that was still closed. 

He didn’t know what the decorum was in this situation. Probably he was just supposed to leave, but also that was maybe the best blowjob he’d ever had. Maybe he should just knock on the door and try to let the Blowjob Fairy know? Thank her for her service? Maybe tip her? No, fuck. No. She wasn’t a prostitute.

The door remained closed.

Violet eyes…

Fuck, okay Lance was curious. He’d seen a hot chick and yes, there was no need to confirm this. There was a downside to wanting to meet her. What if she wasn’t that hot? What possible positive could come from him meeting her?

Lance knocked. Okay, maybe pounded. He just… He needed confirmation that she was as hot in real life as she was in his head. And maybe, up side, he asks for her phone number. Probably she had it written in the stall somewhere even. Wouldn’t even need to ask, just look around. And it’s not like he was going to snap a photo of her and send it to James… That’s not why he had his phone at the ready. Noooooo...

He heard the lock slide open. Lance raised his phone. Okay, maybe James wasn’t the only scoundrel, but he wasn’t going to take a boob shot. Fully clothed, face shot only.

Unless she offered…

She probably wouldn’t though…

‘Oh fuck,’ thought Lance as the door began to swung open. Why the fuck was he doing this? She’d probably be pissed that he’d interrupted the whole anonymous thing. ‘Oh fuck…’

“I was just finishing up,” came a croaky voice from the other side of that door. Damn, had Lance fucked her throat all hoarse? Was she a smoker? “No, need to pound on the door. I was about to –” And there was the owner of the voice with those violet eyes going wide as they met Lance’s. That black hair blowing back from the movement of the door. Those pouty lips freezing mid-word as he (YES HE) spotted Lance and froze.

Lance looked at the chest. No boobs. None.

“Oh fuck,” said Lance out loud. The camera on his phone going off involuntarily with an obnoxious flash.

“What the fuck?” swore the dude in reaction to the photo. “What the fuck are you doing taking my photo?”

“What the fuck are you doing being a boy?!” cried Lance.

“…I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“Well, it’s something you should disclose before you suck a dude’s dick!”

Then suddenly Lance was being yanked by the arm into the stall. Okay fuck, no, he should not have knocked.

*****

The cum was a surprise. I mean, that had been the goal with the deep-throating and the dick sucking, but when the cum came had been unexpected. That was the downside of getting a dick and only a dick. No body language or vocals to read.

Surprise didn’t mean bad though. No, it was so satisfying, like a prize Keith had won. He’d been giving it his all, doing his best fucking work and he’d made those blue eyes cum and drank it back like it was a smoothie.

Fuck that guy was hot. What was unexpected was the big dick. Keith felt like he’d hit the jackpot when that cock slid through that hole looking so juicy he wanted to take a bite out of it. Why give a hot guy a big dick too? This was too much temptation.

Mmm Keith licked at that big dick which was trembling in post-orgasm bliss as he pulled his own hard cock out of his pants. He’d been pawing at himself the whole time he was sucking Mr. Blue Eyes off because damn this was hot stuff. Now that he’d finished him off, he could take care of himself.

Keith spit in his hand before slicking that mess down his own length. He briefly wished he hadn’t swallowed the cum, but saved it for lube, but no. That was too fucking dirty even for a guy who had just given a stranger a blowjob in a public bathroom. There was a line Keith would not cross. Okay, so it was miles away from where a normal person with a real sense of decency drew the line, but at least there was a line.

Mr. Blue Eyes pulled his dick back as Keith stroked himself. Yes, that man was spent and Keith had gotten him there. Fuck, it had felt so good sucking him off while he was totally helpless. Keith had been completely in control as he went from teasing him to deep throating him. He’d fucking choked on that giant cock it was so big.

“Ahhhh,” moaned Keith as he came in his hand. It hadn’t taken much. He’d been so riled up the whole time. He didn’t get much time to bask in the afterglow of that quick, but intense O as there was a pounding on the door.

Fuck.

Someone must have alerted the club staff. He was about to get kicked out if he didn’t come up with a convincing lie.

Keith quickly wiped his hand on some toilet paper and tucked himself away. “I was just finishing up,” said Keith, unlocking the door. Hey, that wasn’t even a lie… “No, need to pound on the door, I was about to –” Keith froze because it was not a bouncer outside the stall, but the guy. Why was he still here? Also, why did he look like he’d just seen a ghost?

“Oh fuck,” said the dude. There was a flash of light and Keith’s eyes fell on the phone in his hands.

“What the fuck?” swore Keith, jumping to the defensive. “What the fuck are you doing taking my photo?” That was not what you do to a guy who just gave you a no-strings-attached bathroom BJ! Not cool!

“What the fuck are you doing being a boy?!” cried the guy.

Why was Keith… a boy? “…I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“Well, it’s something you should disclose before you suck a dude’s dick!” Guy fucking yells this in a crowded men’s room and suddenly all eyes were on then. Fucking idiot. Keith grabbed him by the arm and yanked him into the stall and slammed the door shut before locking it.

“Whoa!” said the guy, throwing up his arms and backing into the corner by the toilet. “Just… just leave me alone, okay?”

Keith was busy trying to peak through the tiny door crack to see if anyone was reacting strangely out there. “What do you mean?” asked Keith, only giving the boy half his attention.

“I mean don’t like… violate me.”

“Why would I do that?” growled Keith, turning back on the guy. Okay, he seriously hated this person now that he had heard his voice.

“You already did it once.”

“When?”

“Um, when you sucked my dick.”

Okay, maybe he was really fucking dumb or really fucking drunk. Either way, Keith figured he needed to speak slowly before this guy worked up a completely false idea in his head. “That. Was. Consensual.”

“I don’t remember consenting,” he said, shaking his head no. “Never happened.”

“Sticking your dick through the wall is consenting.” Keith bit back, keeping himself from adding the word ‘dumbass.’

“Ah, you were not who I was expecting,” he said, crossing his arms. “You’re a dude.”

“It’s a men’s washroom, dumbass.” Okay, that time the dumbass slipped through. “Who were you expecting?”

“Uh – like – uh,” stuttered the guy.

“A disembodied floating mouth?” asked Keith.

“No! If you must know, I assumed it was some kind of Blowjob Fairy.”

“What?” Well, Keith was a kind of ‘fairy,’ but he wasn’t sure he’d heard that right.

“A Blowjob Fairy,” the guy repeated. “A magical *female* being that gives out free blowjobs.”

Keith blinked. “So like tiny and mischievous?”

“Mischievous? No…. Look at you and your ten dollar word. No, not like Tinkerbell. More like the Tooth Fairy.”

“A Tooth Fairy that gives blowjobs?” asked Keith. “Are you hearing yourself?”

“Yes, and I sound crazy!” said the guy, waving his arms about in the tiny space. “Look all I know is a caught a glimpse of you through the hole thingy –”

“Glory hole.”

“-Glory hole – thank you – and you looked like a hot chick.”

“… Why would a chick be in the men’s bathroom giving out blowjobs?”

“I don’t know man, why are you in the men’s washroom giving out blowjobs?”

“Why are you in the men’s washroom accepting blowjobs?”

“Because I thought you were a hot chick.”

Keith paused, thinking about this. “… But why would a hot chick be in the –?”

“I don’t know, dude!” yelled the guy, cutting him off. “We could go around in his circle forever. The point is. I’m not gay!”

“Congratulations,” said Keith, sarcastically.

“Thank you,” said the guy, sincerely. Fuck, he was a dumbass. A cute, big dicked dumbass that was just staring at Keith now.

“I would tell you to take a picture because it would last longer, but you already took a photo of me, didn’t you?” The boy blushed. “Okay what?” demanded Keith.

“Nothing…,” said the guy, flushing further. “You’re just pretty like a girl so obviously you can see why I was mistaken.”

“No. I am highly confused as to why you thought you’d be getting a blowjob from a girl.”

“Because I’m drunk and obviously very stupid,” he said with a sigh. “But you.” He was gestured at. “You’re kinda slutty.”

“You’re kinda slutty.”

“No, but like this was my first glory hole. What do you do? Hangout in here and suck whatever dick comes through the hole?” The guy leaned against the stall wall, casually waiting for a response to his accusation.

“That’s an interesting story,” said Keith, crossing his own arms and leaning against the door with a grin. “See, I have this psychic that I visit regularly…”

“Uh huh,” said the guy, already fully invested. Of course the guy who believes in Blowjob Fairies believes in psychics too.

“She’s always been able to predict everything that was going to happen to me before it happened. Like she’s freaky accurate.”

“Whoa, okay, want her number, but go on.”

“Well, about four months ago she told me that I was going to meet my true love at this club. In this very stall in fact.” The guy nodded, urging Keith to continue. “She said the only way I would know it was him was by the shape of his dick. She said it would fit in my throat perfectly just like the glass slipper would only fit on Cinderella. So what choice did I have but to sit in this stall night after night, sucking on whatever dick was shoved through that hole?” Keith gestured to the glory hole, the one with all the arrows drawn pointing at it and the words ‘open up.’ “…And you know what the crazy part is?”

“No, what?” said the guy, eyes wide.

“Your dick fit my mouth perfectly. You’re my true love.”

“What?” gasped the guy. “Really?”

“Fuck no,” said Keith. “Wow dumb and gullible. Sure wish it was true. You’re a catch.”

“Not fucking funny,” said the guy as Keith began to laugh. “So I guess you’re just some run of the mile gay slut?”

“Fuck maybe, but no because this is literally the first time I’ve ever done any of this.”

“Then what, pray tell motivated you this time.”

“I saw you in the urinal line, dumbass,” said Keith, unable to keep the hostile out of his voice. “I watched your whole hissy fit and despite that, I thought you were hot so when I saw you go into the stall, I followed you. I come to this club a lot so I knew about the glory hole.” Keith looked away, crossing his arms tighter across his chest. Why did just admitting the guy was hot feel like a confession?

“But how did you know I’d stick my dick…?”

“I didn’t,” said Keith, with a shrug. “It was a long shot, but you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and I just wanted to test it out.”

“And then you were peeking at me,” said the guy, raising a cocky eyebrow. Oh yeah, it was very easy to stroke his ego.

“You looked at me too,” said Keith, “not a good look obviously. You missed the Adam’s apple.”

“I was captivated by the whole eye situation you have going one,” said the guy gesturing to Keith’s face.

“What eye situation?”

“Oh, like you don’t know you have eyes the colour of a sunset trapped inside a gemstone!” Guy kinda just shouted a compliment. Keith smirked. “What?”

“You sure you’re not gay?”

“Fucking positive, my dude… dude… not my dude… I have a near perfect track record with the ladies. You are but a tiny gay blip on an otherwise solely female roster.”

“You are very defensive for a straight guy.”

“Because I was baited and switched!” he yelled. Fuck, this guy was loud.

Worried, Keith peeked out the crack again. “I can’t keep going over this,” he muttered.

“What are you looking for?” asked the guy, his voice softening.

“Well, you kinda outted us to the whole men’s room so I’m making sure there’s no homophobic bro-dudes out there getting ready to jump us and beat us up for all the gayness.”

The guy snorted. “I’m against the gayness too.” Keith flashed angry eyes at him. “No, not as a concept,” said the guy throwing up his hands. “Just me being part of it. Like… maybe I wanted to punch you. Stupid to pull me in here with you.”

“You I could subdue quickly,” said Keith, shaking his head. “A bunch of guys when I’m not expecting an ambush… Well, I could fight them off too, but I’m not looking to get arrested tonight.”

The guy snorted. “So you fancy yourself some kind of gay ninja?”

“No, I don’t think of myself as a gay as much as you do. What’s your problem?”

“No problem,” said the guy, clearly getting worked up. “I just didn’t want a guy sucking my dick.”

Keith rolled his eyes. He could not keep pointing out to him that he shouldn’t have been sticking his dick in a glory hole in a men’s washroom. No, that logic would never sink in. “So it’s shameful?”

“What? No, not for someone like you, but for me yes.”

“Why?”

“Uh,” stalled Lance. “Because I’m not attracted to men.”

Keith shrugged. “You liked my mouth… and my eyes…”

“You know what, forget I said anything. At all. Ever. You have a point. I got the best blowjob of my life from a guy and I just have to live with it or go into deep denial about it. Either will do. Oh, I hope we’re not past last call. I could still get blackout drunk and forget everything.”

Keith was smiling, he couldn’t help it.

“What?” asked the guy, nervous

“Best blowjob of your life?”

The guy blushed. Actually blushed and started to stammer and fuck he was cute again. Dammit, Keith! Do not fall for a straight boy. That is a dangerous path. Keith couldn’t even follow what the guy was yammering about until he threw up his hands and said, “Fine! I’ll take your number!”

Keith blinked. How did they get there? “I’m… not offering it.”

“Uh, I’m sorry. You said I was hot before.”

“I also called you an annoying dumbass.”

“You didn’t call me annoying.”

“Didn’t I? Huh. Must’ve just thought it and never said it out loud.”

“Okay, but… my dick… pretty nice, right?”

Bold. Fucking bold.

“I gotta assume you’re some kinda expert. I mean, how could you not be when you suck dick like that? I guess that’s the advantage when you really know the equipment. You’re like a dick connoisseur so like, you know…”

“Know?”

“Know my dick is good.”

Keith blinked. “I’m sorry, in what way does that translate to me giving you my phone number?”

“Well… so we can…”

Keith couldn’t fucking believe this. Guy didn’t know what he wanted. “I don’t date straight guys.”

“Well,” said the guy, scratching the back of his head. “Obviously I’m not completely straight.” He blushed. “I’m thinking I’m a bit crooked.”

“I don’t think crooked is a sexuality.”

“So you really are done with me?” asked the guy. 

Ughhhhh why? Why was he hot and completely right about the good dick thing? Shit. Fuck. Don’t do it. No. But maybe… Keith advanced, backing that boy right up into the corner and placing his hands against the wall on either side of him. The boy fucking gulped. “Let’s put it this way,” said Keith. “Next Saturday. Same place. One am. You pick whichever stall you like and I’ll go into the empty one. We proceed from there. Sound good?”

The boy gulped and nodded. Now he was so close and fuck there was heat, real heat between them and suddenly Keith wanted more, but he really needed to hold back. Still… that boy was suddenly leaning in like he wanted to kiss, but no, that was too much. Maybe that’s why he leaned down to his neck, taking in a sniff of his scent - fuck yes, there was real chemistry here – before he gave that tender neck a lick. The boy shuddered. Fuck. Hot. “Next week,” said Keith, his voice barely a grumble and he had a feeling he wasn’t going to be able to stay in a separate stall next week.

“Um,” said the boy, his eyes no longer looking at Keith, but past him and down. “You gonna get that?”

“Get what?” asked Keith, confused. But then he followed the boy’s eye line, turned around and looked down to see… “Oh fuck!”

A dick. 

There was a new dick in the glory hole.

Keith immediately started looking around for something to swat it with to get it to go away.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” said the boy, heading for the door.

“Why?” demanded Keith.

“So you can…” The guy mouthed sucking a dick. “…get that.”

“I told you I don’t go around sucking random dicks through glory holes!”

“You’re not even tempted?” gasped the guy.

Then Keith actually fucking looked so he could decide if he was tempted because apparently he is a huge fucking perve after all. Nope. Dick wasn’t that big and wasn’t hard. Pass. Hard pass, er soft pass. “No, I’m not fucking tempted!” yelled Keith as if he hadn’t just considered it…

“Oh, that makes me special,” swooned the boy. Keith had outright told him that so why was it so fucking annoying that he was finally believing it? “Don’t worry,” said the guy, puffing out his chest. “I will get rid of the dick for you!”

Keith had no fucking clue how he intended to do that until the boy went and stepped up on the toilet and looked down over the partition. “Shoo! Git! We don’t want any!” said the boy, but then he added. “Oh hey, James. What… what ya doing here?”

“Lance?!” came the cry of surprise from the other stall.

Lance.

The guy was named Lance. Good to know. Keith did one last check to make sure it was safe to go out without being jumped before slipping away while Lance was preoccupied talking to the guy in the next stall.

If all went as planned, Keith would see *Lance* (and his big dick) next week…

**Author's Note:**

> Wanna write what happens next week? Make it filthy and gift it to me.
> 
> UPDATE: Blue_jbunny wrote a sequel!! You can read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18195332
> 
> If anyone else gifts me a sequel, I will share the link!! <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Oh My Glory Date](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18488131) by [KarsKars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarsKars/pseuds/KarsKars)




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